Safe People

If you are NOT a hermit, this post is for YOU! If you ARE a hermit, this is probably the 3rd most important thing you'll read......AFTER the Bible and warning labels!
Are YOU a safe person? You may be thinking, well..I'm not a violent person so....yeah, I'm safe. Let me ask you this: Do you respect someone else's "No" ? Do you withdraw or react when someone says 'No' to you? Can your friends approach you with their secrets and troubles and trust you to not criticize or judge them? Do you avoid closeness? When you give, do you do it with no strings attached?
Are you able to forgive? Do you treat all of your friends as equals? Do you take responsibility for your life choices? Do you blame others for all of your problems? Are you reliable? Do you expect perfection from others? Do you apologize without changing your behaviour? Do you tell the truth? Are you able to admit your faults and weaknesses? Do you avoid your problems or deal with them? Do you respect other people's time? Are you open to feedback or do you become defensive when someone confronts you about something? Is there both give and take in your relationships?(Cloud and Townsend, Safe People)
 If any of your answers to the above questions were not the ideal answers, you're being honest and that's great. If your answers were all the most ideal ones, you may not be human. If you purpose to change, that's most admirable and you're well on your way to becoming a safe person. : ) The bad news is this: it will take work and may cause some emotional discomfort. The good news is: you'll be a more likable person and all of your relationships will benefit. I know, it's not always easy to self-evaluate and face the truth about ourselves nor is it always possible for us to see our own character flaws. If you're determined to grow and to better your relationships by becoming a safe person, ask your friends if they feel respected by you and what you do that hurts them. This is a good place to start. When you get an honest reply, thank the person. They've just done you a favour; something you couldn't do for yourself. You can't change if you don't know in what area you need to change.

We learn about relationships from our families which are all imperfect.  So, we all enter adulthood with relational deficits. We all have issues to work on.  The question is, will we??  We usually need a good reason to make the effort.

Why am I writing about such a topic? Because I am passionate about people AND relationships matter to me! Relationships are very important to human survival and not just to bare survival but for healthy living. Unfortunately, North American society encourages self-reliance which is fueled by pride and jealousy.
We were made to live in community; made to love and help one another.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone
who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may
be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not
quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

If you would like to learn more about safe and unsafe people you can purchase Safe People by Cloud and Townsend for a reasonable price at Amazon:

If you buy this book or pick it up at your local library, I would be interested in hearing your opinion of it. Are you chicken to read it? Don't be. It's an easy read. I've read it and I'm glad I did!