Good Old-Fashioned Romance

I have been wondering if good old-fashioned romance still exists.  You know the kind where the couple makes it work over great distances and time??  The kind where a guy will ride his bike across the country or swim the ocean to see his girl??


In this day and age, with online dating sites and whatnot, it's so easy to cast your net on the other side of the boat and lavish your affections on the next fish out of the sea....especially when there are obstacles to/in a relationship.


Those were my thoughts when I happened upon a story by Amy Seger called, "Five Dates, Eleven Hundred Letters and Fifty-Five Years Later."  This true story is about a couple who met during the second world war.   They had only been on a few dates when they vowed to write to each other daily while the guy, an American soldier, was abroad.  The couple was apart for 16 months and during that time they wrote 1100 letters! When the soldier returned to the U.S,  he mailed home a 23 pound package of letters from his love.  A month after their joyous reunion they were married.

Does anyone write love letters anymore?

It's OKAY to kill a baby when......

Caution: Graphic images




What is your response to each of these questions?

The Hole

Deep, dark, disparaging hole,
Lying, splintered, fragmented soul.
 

Dirty, cold, hidden from light,
Pounding, aching, vicious, the plight.

Heaviness, loneliness, no key for the lock,
The second hand speeds, tic-toc it does mock.

Shivering, shaking, weakened by tears,
Grasping, pleading, to God who hears,

Boundless love would the heart cheer,
Unable to feel yet still  holding dear,
The promise.

Baby Moving Day

It's amazing the things you see when you sit quietly outside watching and listening.  Don't be fooled by the silence....it doesn't mean that NOTHING is going on.

Yesterday I was sitting outside..studying and listening...well, maybe doing more listening than studying. BECAUSE..... stealthy as she was, I still heard her:

What's so amazing about a squirrel?  This is a mother squirrel with a MOUTHFUL of baby!

Momma squirrel is trying to move her 'babies' from one tree to another and having a bit of difficulty as her babies aren't so little anymore.

Moving big babies is hot, tiring work so Momma takes a break on a shaded driveway to cool down a little:

Then she brings the second one, also large, which she has to whip through the air to try to get a better grasp on it:

As I watched I thought two things:  Creation is incredible and...please, don't use The "Sandbox" !

HEY! You Dropped Something!!

A few days ago I was sitting outside enjoying the temperate weather and all of the pleasant visual stimuli that the day had to offer.  Others were outside enjoying the day too, including one adolescent boy who came riding down the street, obviously in his own world, oblivious to the fact that there could be someone other than himself on the street.

As he came nearer, I noticed his left arm make a downward swinging motion which was followed by  a loud *SMASH*  ....the distinct sound of glass shattering against the pavement.

The boy continued to cycle along so I called out, "Hey!"  He didn't hear me so I put on my best gruff voice and called out with a louder, "HEY!" 

When I finally had his attention I said, "You dropped something."   His response was , "Yeah, I know."   He then turned around and went back to the glass and began to gather the larger pieces of the broken bottle. Instead of waiting to see what he would do, I promptly provided him with a bag for the fragments he had gathered all the while hoping he wouldn't cut himself! 

I felt like giving him an impromptu math lesson that would have gone something like this:
   
Broken glass + YOUR bicycle tire = walking your bike home.

ATTRACTION and ATTRACTIVENESS

Would YOU want your physical appearance to be rated as  AVERAGE ?

According to A Textbook of Social Psychology by Alcock, Carment, and Sadava,  "a set of studies suggests that we are attracted to persons who appear close to the average in terms of facial and physical features."    So....the next time someone says that you're 'average', take it as a compliment!!!  : )

The aforementioned text also claims that  romantic partners tend to be  roughly similar in physical attractiveness.

Do you agree?  Do you have something to add to this topic?  Here's your chance to weigh in!  You'll find the comment section conveniently situated below this post so...have at it!



 

The Height of Multitasking and One Lucky Duck!

They say that women are better than men at multitasking...now I believe it!

A few days ago I looked out the window to examine the flowerbed in hopes of being delighted by new developments:  buds, flowers, or shoots. The first thing I noticed was a sparrow, busily collecting plant matter for a nest.  As she was actively filling her beak with debris, a male landed on her and I presume they mated. Now THAT might just be the height of multitasking!

Have you ever heard of a lawn of fertility?  Me neither, but I think we have one!

A few hours later, there was a chorus of quacking.  One female and seven male mallard ducks descended on our front lawn. Think for a minute about that ratio. What a lot of suitors!!  Is this where the expression 'lucky duck' came from???

Want proof of my dual-footed visitors? I have it! The photo is poor quality as it was taken through a window:

The hen quacked and hissed at her pursuers as they took turns approaching her.  Is this part of the duck mating ritual?

The "lucky duck" hid out under the spruce (left side of photo) and every once in a while a drake would get up the courage to venture under the bows to try his luck.  In the meantime, the other drakes waddled slowly around the tree, sometimes hissing and attempting to attack one another. 

I don't know exactly what went on under the tree, or who the lucky winner was.  I didn't ask! 

The Return of the Bra

If there is a song about signs, there should be one about policies.  Maybe there is one but I just haven't heard it yet.  If there isn't one, maybe I'll write it.
This is what Wikipedia has to say about the meaning of the word 'policy':   A policy is typically described as a principle or rule to guide decisions and achieve rational outcome(s).

If there's one thing I find more repugnant than month-old summertime garbage, it's irrational, inconsistent,  or insensible policies.

Today I had near run-in with a policy enforcement officer.  I wanted to return a bra.  It had been purchased, brought home, and tried on.  It fit, the price tag was cut off, it was worn....for half a day.   One of the bra straps had a metal detail on the front of it which sported the brand name.  The metal attachment, in time, proved to be an uncomfortable feature.

The cashier informed me that,  "It is store policy to not accept returns of bras that have been worn...for health reasons."   So tell me, what is the difference between trying on a bra in the store, and bringing it home and wearing it for a couple of hours and returning it when discovering that it is, in a way, defective?  What if a woman tries out a new bra in the store's fitting room and tries on 10 different outfits while giving that bra a test-drive?  In any of these scenarios the bra is worn against potentially sweaty skin.  I guess the store's fitting room has a magical, invisible, omnipresent disinfectant?!?!

Fortunately the policy enforcement officer was in an amiable mood and decided to over-rule the policy, "Just this ONE time."  Is there a policy in place to protect shoppers "for health reasons" or isn't there?  I've come to realize that a policy is just as flexible (or inflexible as the case may be) as the person behind the desk.

The Royally Wet Wedding

With the Royal Wedding past but still the topic of much discussion, I thought it would be an appropriate time to share the story of my grandmother's wedding.  Although my grandparent's wedding was not televised, the total cost of the wedding wasn't in the millions, and the guest list was not comprised of royalty and celebrities, it was a memorable day nonetheless....

Grandmother had stayed the night at her eldest sister's apartment so as to be closer to the church where the ceremony was to take place.   The day of the wedding, it was raining and the apartment was dark. She was getting into her dress when she finally asked her sister why the place was so dark.  Her sister, who is usually calm, collected and organized, replied in a frantic tone that the electricity had gone out.

Grandma claims that she didn't look at herself  in the mirror even once before heading to the church. After all,  it was too dark to see herself  properly!

On her way to the church (which was a very slow drive with the driving wind and incessant rain)  she realized that she had forgotten to put on the necklace that her fiancee had given her for the wedding.  Her friend, and driver, turned around and went back for the necklace.  Between the necklace retrieval and the weather, she was quite late.

Meanwhile, my grandfather was driving through very deep puddles and heavy rain when a police officer on a motorcycle pulled up beside him.  "WHERE are you going in THIS WEATHER???" the officer demanded.  "I'm getting married," replied my grandfather.  "Follow me!" commanded the policeman, and he proceeded to escort my grandfather to the church!

Much to grandfather's relief, his bride finally arrived at the church.  He told her that she looked beautiful and that he had  feared he would never see her again because the weather was so horrendous.  Many of the guests didn't make it to the wedding because of the inclement weather.  What kind of rain storm keeps people from attending a wedding you ask?  HURRICANE HAZEL!!!  (October 15th, 1954) http://www.hurricanehazel.ca/

They say rain on your wedding day is good luck....how about a hurricane?? 

My grandparents were happily married for 15 years until my grandfather passed away.
One of my aunts noted that my grandmother's wedding dress was much like Kate Middleton's.  The top of it was lace with a v-neck.

Tip Of My Tongue

There must be more to life than this
Some kind of loving, harmonious bliss.

Free of judgment, condemnation, and suspicion
Staying true to myself, trusting intuition.

Aspirations abounding, spilling, no drought
The nightmare withholding, resistance cries out.

Visions of thrill, peace, and ease
Glimpses of you do my heart seize
Yet thoughts in tandem cannot appease.

Expectations, limitations, pushed to prove
Internally nimble, ready to move.

Striving, contriving through effortful days
Straining for focus through the opinion-thick haze.

Success from the highest of heights to be sung
Sitting.....waiting.....on the tip of my tongue.

The "Sandbox"

I've been asked how the spinach seeds are coming along.  Well, as it turns out, it's not just the weather conditions, insects, or possible blight that one has to contend with when growing vegetables.  Gardens and pots are also vulnerable to the daily threat of rats with bushy tails.  Apparently a pot of soil is to a squirrel what a sandbox is to a child.

In the case of my spinach pots, the local squirrels have no respect. Do I expect more from them? No. But really, they have access to several gardens  and yet they choose the pots... 

Even though squirrels are not nearly as prolific as rabbits, there is no apparent shortage of them.  A female squirrel gives birth to 3-4 babies in the early Spring and usually again in the Fall which isn't a lot compared to a rabbit having several litters per year of approximately 2-10 young in each.

So far there is only one spinach sprout in one of the three pots.  Would you be surprised if I told you that it's the only pot of the three that does not exhibit signs of having been 'played' in?  And  there the lonely spinach sprout grows.....

Good thing it's early enough in the season that I can sow some more seeds. This gardener WILL succeed!  : )

I'm not sure what the best way of warding off squirrels is yet...most attempts in previous years have failed...  My most recent idea is to post a sign as follows beside the pots:

DIG AT YOUR OWN RISK  

 

Yes, this is a barbecued squirrel. Photo credit: Luke Sidey

In case you were wondering, it IS true what they say about youtube.  You can find anything there.  The bbq squirrel photo piqued my curiosity which led me to search a video on youtube on how to skin a squirrel.  Don't do it if you are squeamish!

 

The Interruption

I was a privileged guest at a 50th wedding anniversary celebration this past Saturday.  How many people do you know who have been married THAT long?!?!  Impressive eh?  When a couple has been married that long you may think that either they are the perfect match, very stubborn and determined, or they don't see much of each other! ; ) In case you're wondering, this particular couple attributes the survival of their marriage to God's faithfulness.

Early in the celebration, I was sitting at a table near the entrance to the party room.  It was the perfect place to see people as they arrived and to have the opportunity to say HI and to exchange a few words.  You know those typical words and phrases that are used when you're reunited with old friends and acquaintances?  "How are you?  It's been so long since I've seen you.  It's so nice to see you. What have you been up to?"  Well,  one of the people I said hello to was only an acquaintance and so I asked a question to get to know her a bit better.  She had just launched into her reply when someone broadsided our conversation by coming in close and saying a loud and bulldozing hello to me.  Can you picture the situation?  Your attention is pulled in two different directions and your senses have a tendency to zero in on the most demanding of the two stimuli.

Unfortunately the conversation train was completely derailed and never arrived at its destination.  Opportunity lost.

I was disappointed and wondered how I could better handle that type of situation in the future.  It's these social skills that you have to learn by trial and error I guess.  I don't want to be rude to someone by ignoring them, or miss opportunities to say Hi to people and yet it's not right for someone to be more than briefly interrupted.

Any advice for me????

 















What do you do in a situation like this?

Addictions -Part Two- No Butts!

If you have an addiction, you are not crazy - no matter WHAT kind of addiction you have and no matter WHAT other people say about you.

If you are trying to quit, or even just THINKING about quitting, here is a success story written by one of my friends to encourage you:

     This isn't the first time I tried to quit, I have wanted to quit for a long time. I have tried many different ways of quitting, I tried the patch, I tried champix (a drug), I tried cold turkey. Champix is the only thing that kind of worked for me in the past, but after I stopped taking the drug I went right back to smoking. One thing that kept me going on this quit was a bet that I made with a friend. If I start smoking before the end of the year I owe her 300 dollars, not really a bet I want to lose. Also, I signed up for a quit smoking help website, and every month they send me an update on what improvements I've made. It tells me how many days/hours/minutes that I have been smoke free for, how many cigarettes I have not smoked, how much money I have saved, and how many days that I have added back to my life.

Your Quit Date is: 10/1/2010


Time Smoke-Free: 149 days, 13 hours, 39 minutes and 41 seconds


Cigarettes NOT smoked: 2991                                    

Lifetime Saved: 22 days, 20 hours

Money Saved: $1,162.20

     Since I have quit, I have more energy. I'm an asthmatic, and I used to have to take my puffer several times a night. Since I quit I have barely had to use my puffer at all. Unfortunately I have gained a small amount of weight since the quit, but that's not something that can't be worked on especially since I have more energy to exercise if I get around to it.

     I would never have been able to quit without the help of God. This isn't the first time I've asked for His help in quitting, but it is the first time that I have actually wanted His help in quitting. There was always something that I thought I enjoyed about smoking, but I've come to realize that those were just lies that I was telling myself for some odd reason. God has sent me many different sources of encouragement to help me quit, which includes friends who have been cheering me along the way.

Almost 6 months smoke-free and counting!!   Congratulations Lady!!!

If  YOU have a success story, please share it!

   

Thank you for reading, thank you for quitting, and thank you for supporting others in the quitting process!

Addictions - Part One -

Unfortunately addictions are VERY common and they don't just affect the addicted individual but also their social network.  Everyone knows someone who is either suffering from or battling an addiction .....even though you may not know that the person(s) has an addiction.


Addictions usually indicate the presence of an unresolved underlying issue which led to the start of the addiction.

How Does an Addiction Start?

An addiction can be the compulsive use of a substance or compulsive behaviour which begins with a feeling of pleasure, usually in pursuit of relief from pain, or distressing emotions.

Reasons for getting help:

Addictions can destroy relationships and families.
Addictions can have devastating financial effects.
Addictions can bring feelings of guilt and shame.
Addictions can bring feelings of helplessness.
Addictions can affect productivity.
Addictions are self-destructive.
Addictions control you.


If you have an addiction that you want to be free of, THERE IS HOPE.  YOU CAN OVERCOME!  : )

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have written a little book to help you get started:

Getting Dirty

Who is waiting for Spring to properly arrive with gardening season in tow?  NOT ME!

I see great potential in dirt. Not the kind of dirt you find in chewing gum that has been determinedly picked off of hot summer pavement by a 3 year old, but the kind used in pots and gardens.  I get excited about gardening and all of the possibilities that come with it.  So, a day before the arrival of Spring, I decided to try something new and sowed 3 pots of spinach. Now, I've grown spinach before but I've never started it this early.

Did I know there was snow in the forecast?  YES.  Did I care? NO.  After all, the package did say that the seeds could be sown as soon as the ground could be worked.  I read the word 'ground' in the metaphorical sense.
Four days later.....

It will be interesting to see how the seeds develop. I am going to try to ignore them for a bit since a 'watched plant doesn't grow'.  I'm hoping that the spinach will be successful enough to be used as an ingredient in one of the culinary masterpieces of  http://foodbydave.blogspot.com/  
 Gardening has so many health benefits so go out and get dirty!!

You don't even have to have a big garden...

But if you're intimidated by dirt, tools, and plants......

Does SIZE matter?

Some think it doesn't but it does... How do I know?  Because I ask questions!  

Within the past month I had both an echocardiogram (a test that takes pictures of your heart using sound waves) and an ultrasound of my entire abdomen.  Thankfully no abnormalities to report!  : )

The Echocardiogram
I lay shirtless....well.... not fully topless.... I WAS given a 'gown' to wear which gives one the perception of being clothed until you're told to open the front of it and goosebumps cover your chest like flies to a cow pie.  The room was darkened, almost romantically so, with only the light of the computer monitor with which to properly see the face of the stranger who was giving me instructions on lying on my left side with left arm raised.   As I followed instructions, listening to the hum and beeping of the computer, I began to think of all of the individuals who had laid on that same bed before me, fully exposed...and that is how this conversation began:
 
Me:  "Does it make a difference for you whether a patient is large-breasted or small-breasted?" 
Technician:  "Yes, if a woman is very large-breasted sometimes you really have to dig under there to see the heart. It can also be difficult to get a good image of the heart if a person is obese."

The Ultrasound
In preparation for the ultrasound, I had to fast. I was allowed to have juice but only in small sips to prevent gas build-up.  During the ultrasound (which felt like a belly massage) I found out that it is easier for the technician to see your organs if you are 'skinny' and do NOT have gas. 

So....as you can see...SiZe DOES matter!

Movie Night

Who DOESN'T like movies?!?! Well, I guess not EVERYONE...but most people like movies of one genre or another. Those who don't like movies at least like the movie of a fireplace with a fire going... ; )

The world of cinematography and script writing strives to feed the public's insatiable appetite for material that is more shocking, exhilarating, or distinctly
different than that which has come before. This is because of desensitization. It's kind of like eating sugar. You become so accustomed to sweetness that it doesn't make much of an impression on your taste buds when you put 2 spoonfuls of sugar into your coffee instead of only 1.5 (your usual). If however you have a sugar-free diet(sensitized to sugar), adding 1/2 a spoon of sugar to your coffee will surprise your sweet-sensing taste buds.

The resulting effort of writers, actors, and producers to capture the interest of desensitized viewers leads to great works of art which can have one or more of many effects on an individual. Movies, whether fiction or non-fiction, can excite, frighten, discourage, motivate, encourage, relax, or enrage the viewer. The residual effects of the movie content and the emotional response which it evokes can either serve to enhance and benefit or reduce societal acceptance of language, behaviours, and norms.

I haven't found it particularly easy to find films of quality which I can confidently recommend to the common movie-watcher.....you know, the kind of movie that a teen can be comfortable watching with their parents...one that doesn't encourage the use of 'intelligence-limiting language' or contain innuendos or visuals unsuitable for younger viewers?

I am pleased to share that I have recently seen two movies that I can happily recommend (with a clear conscience) for your viewing pleasure. They are: The Blind Side and Amazing Grace. They are available on DVD so you can avoid situations such as this:

They do contain some mature themes so be forewarned. You may not want to show them to little children.

Two things that I appreciate about these movies is that they are both based on true stories AND they demonstrate the power of hope, determination, and goodwill.

Whether you watch movies to learn, to be challenged, to escape, or to simply be entertained, these movies are for you. So, the next time you want to curl up in your favourite seat either alone or with your favourite people, check out:

No, they're not chick flicks....sorry to disappoint.

If you've seen them, what did you think???

Do you know the Truth?

Every human has the desire to know where they've come from, why they are here on Earth, and where they are going after this life. Finding purpose in life is a struggle that most inhabitants of the earth have in common.  

Have you ever considered WHY?

It is a life-altering question to ask. This is a subject that I have spent a lot of time thinking about. One question I have is, if we (the human race) are a result of a 'big bang' or chance collision of molecules, where has our spiritual component come from? Why is there a belief, that is found the world over, that there is a Greater Being? Why do we seek spiritual fulfillment from religious institutions? How does the evolutionary theory account for morality, the concept of right and wrong - good versus evil?

The public school system insidiously incorporates details of evolution into the curriculum stating it as fact. Fact it is NOT. This sneaky mode of influence ensures that children are indoctrinated from an early age, preparing them for further "education" without giving them the facts and allowing them to evaluate for themselves the origin and purpose of life. I believe it is important for each person to choose for themselves what to believe and to know WHY they believe what they do.

What is YOUR worldview? Have you read, searched, and evaluated for yourself?

A book that I have read on this subject is Searching for Truth by Joe Boot.
I highly recommend it. If you have read it, please leave a comment, opinion, or review of the book. If you have any kind of response to this post, or something to add to the subject, please share it!

ER........

This past week I had first-hand experiences with the Canadian emergency care system.

These were my observations:

1. Sometimes paramedics seem to know more and follow protocol better than doctors and nurses.

2. Patients in the ER hooked up to IVs completely bedless. Let's not speed up recovery too quickly by letting someone sleep while receiving medication or hydration...and this at a hospital that recently received an ER upgrade. (The waiting room is now larger..and so is the nurse's station.)

3. Patients being given medication without being asked whether they want it or not, and without being told what kind of side effects to expect. Of course, when it's a life or death situation, a doctor wouldn't take the time for this courtesy....but in other cases??

4. A doctor summoning a patient who is sitting in a transport chair (a wheelchair that is usually pushed by someone other than the patient) and then doing a 180 and walking away from the patient who is left sitting.....and waiting.

I wonder how long this man would have had to wait for assistance had he not been promptly aided by a kindly fellow citizen.

5. An 80+ year old woman alone on a stretcher in the hall of the ER. She was hooked up to an IV and expected to spend the night there. She admitted to me of having memory problems and therefore having trouble remembering what the doctor said to her but not having anyone there to help her remember. Her 89 year old husband had to go home but he wasn't a whole lot of help to her while he was there since he's hard of hearing and didn't hear half of what the doctor said.

6. Nurses flirting. (It was like watching Grey's Anatomy.)

7. A lady having it out with a nurse because the nurse was chatting with another nurse instead of tending the triage station.

8. A father of a very young boy losing it on the nurses because it had taken so long for his son to receive any kind of treatment for his fever and chest congestion. Can't blame the father....it's hard to see your child suffer....nor can you blame the nurses...they can't help that they're under-staffed.

9. It was lunch time and the doctor wanted a patient to eat something. The patient told the nurse that what ever was provided would need
to be gluten-free. The nurse soon brought a gluten-filled sandwich. PERFECT!

10. A man in hand cuffs escorted by two police officers. The man would not cooperate with nurses and so was cuffed at the ankles and then cuffed to the stretcher where he fell asleep. Apparently you have to be violent to get a bed....

11. Free test results given out when many doctors offices charge at least a dollar per photocopy.

12. Two dispensers in the washroom on either sides of the sink....my guess is that most people use the hand sanitizer instead of soap. It wasn't clear which was which.

13. Wheelchairs in the ER entrance that you have to put a loonie into to use, just like the shopping carts that require a quarter. Of course, when there's an emergency or you're looking after someone who is suffering, you have the time to hunt someone down who can give you change for a $20.

The charge for a wheelchair scenario reminded me of a Brian Regan clip. Enjoy! :

Safe People

If you are NOT a hermit, this post is for YOU! If you ARE a hermit, this is probably the 3rd most important thing you'll read......AFTER the Bible and warning labels!
Are YOU a safe person? You may be thinking, well..I'm not a violent person so....yeah, I'm safe. Let me ask you this: Do you respect someone else's "No" ? Do you withdraw or react when someone says 'No' to you? Can your friends approach you with their secrets and troubles and trust you to not criticize or judge them? Do you avoid closeness? When you give, do you do it with no strings attached?
Are you able to forgive? Do you treat all of your friends as equals? Do you take responsibility for your life choices? Do you blame others for all of your problems? Are you reliable? Do you expect perfection from others? Do you apologize without changing your behaviour? Do you tell the truth? Are you able to admit your faults and weaknesses? Do you avoid your problems or deal with them? Do you respect other people's time? Are you open to feedback or do you become defensive when someone confronts you about something? Is there both give and take in your relationships?(Cloud and Townsend, Safe People)
 If any of your answers to the above questions were not the ideal answers, you're being honest and that's great. If your answers were all the most ideal ones, you may not be human. If you purpose to change, that's most admirable and you're well on your way to becoming a safe person. : ) The bad news is this: it will take work and may cause some emotional discomfort. The good news is: you'll be a more likable person and all of your relationships will benefit. I know, it's not always easy to self-evaluate and face the truth about ourselves nor is it always possible for us to see our own character flaws. If you're determined to grow and to better your relationships by becoming a safe person, ask your friends if they feel respected by you and what you do that hurts them. This is a good place to start. When you get an honest reply, thank the person. They've just done you a favour; something you couldn't do for yourself. You can't change if you don't know in what area you need to change.

We learn about relationships from our families which are all imperfect.  So, we all enter adulthood with relational deficits. We all have issues to work on.  The question is, will we??  We usually need a good reason to make the effort.

Why am I writing about such a topic? Because I am passionate about people AND relationships matter to me! Relationships are very important to human survival and not just to bare survival but for healthy living. Unfortunately, North American society encourages self-reliance which is fueled by pride and jealousy.
We were made to live in community; made to love and help one another.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone
who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may
be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not
quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

If you would like to learn more about safe and unsafe people you can purchase Safe People by Cloud and Townsend for a reasonable price at Amazon:

If you buy this book or pick it up at your local library, I would be interested in hearing your opinion of it. Are you chicken to read it? Don't be. It's an easy read. I've read it and I'm glad I did!

OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!

Before moving on to another subject, I thought I'd share yesterday's blood draw experience.  I arrived to a nearly empty lab. I've finally figured out the least busy times to visit the lab. : ) I handed over my health card to the nurse behind the counter (which I don't like doing because of the fact that it is falling apart and I don't want to get a new one), plain and simple.

  A few minutes later, I  was directed into the chair of submission.  I pulled up my sleeves and examined my veins.  I was trying to determine which of my two elbow veins had less bruising.  Bruising...something not easily measured.

 The nurse decided to try a lesser vein, one not nearly as prominent as the bruised ones.  It didn't work.  Needle in, no blood.  So, the nurse decided to use the other arm.  This arm she 'disinfected' with an alcohol swab by rubbing the skin back and forth about 5 times...a no-no in venipuncture procedures.  The nurse then proceeded to dry my arm with the dirty cuff of her lab coat sleeve.  I could NOT believe it. 

 In my state of disbelief I managed to spit out the phrase, "Don't do that."  Nurse replied, "I wanted to dry it so it doesn't sting when I put the needle in."  WELL!  I'm no nurse BUT common sense tells me that the wipe of the cuff just undid the work of the alcohol. I have an IDEA.... let's save time and skip the alcohol part altogether! 

  Because I opened my mouth in objection, my arm received another scrubbing of alcohol and then, at my suggestion, was dried with a fresh cotton ball.  I wasn't trying to be in any way bossy or difficult, I just don't want to pick up an infection because of malpractice.  I know, I'm high maintenance.  What would YOU have done in this situation?  It's awkward telling a professional how they should be doing their job for the sake of your own health and well-being.  Especially when you have to see them again...like...the next day...and the next.

If you wish to inform yourself as to what correct venipuncture looks like, here is a video.  An informed patient is a protected patient.  : )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L64g-BguhhE&feature=related

Butterfly PLEASE!

Due to the nature of the Nightmare, my hormone levels are off. You're probably thinking, what does this have to do with butterflies?!!? It's coming. Last year I began learning about NaProtechnology. NaProTECHNOLOGY (Natural Procreative Technology) is a new women's health science that monitors and maintains a woman's reproductive and gynecological health, (more specifically the Creighton Model) which involves monitoring one's own cycle closely which gives abundant information that is often undetectable via blood tests. Who says you have to go to university for an education?!?! ; ) This model is gaining a great reputation in the area of fertility care. It is a totally natural, non-invasive way to avoid or achieve pregnancy all the while promoting intimacy and supporting the body in its efforts to do what it was meant to do.
So, back to the butterflies....are you picturing a monarch, or one of the little yellow butterflies that speedily visits gardens in the summertime never staying long
on any one plant? Well, the butterflies I'm writing about are blue and have a needle and tubing attached. For the purpose of monitoring my hormones, my doctor has requisitioned daily blood work for the course of approximately 13 days. I'm not trying to make you jealous of the fun I'm having. It's only fun sadistically speaking which in my experience does not produce delight in either the giver or the receiver of the needles. Thanks to the plethora of blood tests I've had, I've had the opportunity to experience many different styles as far as nursing care is concerned. I've also come to realize that I much prefer butterfly needles over straight needles. The nurses prefer straight needles. If you ask them why they prefer the straight, you'll get a variety of explanations. Trust me, I've asked. It seems the most common reason is that it's faster and easier for them. However, when you're on the receiving end, it can be very uncomfortable which is why I've started asking for the butterfly and these are my reasons:
1) The butterfly needle is smaller, hopefully resulting in less scar tissue when the puncture wound heals.
2) If you have to have multiple vials of blood drawn, the tubing that is attached to the needle absorbs some of the impact and movement that comes from the changing of vacutainers on the hub, reducing incidence of pain. (Ideally the nurse would tape down the wings of the butterfly to secure it to the patient's arm.)
In case your inquiring mind wishes to see what I mean by a straight needle, and vacutainers being changed on the hub and the resulting movement, I've included a youtube video for your convenience.



If you'd like to know more about NaProTechnology, here's a link for you:
http://www.naprotechnology.com/index.html

Boy Girl Excitement

I figured it would only be fitting to write about romantic relationships following the subject of V-Day. In my Valentine's Day posting, I mentioned my being romantic.  I think this comes from my maternal Grandmother.  We both have an appreciation for food, flowers, and romance.   Let me give you an example of Grandmother's affinity to romance.  A few years ago, we were preparing Christmas dinner with Grandmother as our sole guest.  As dinner was nearing, Grandmother asked one of my brothers, "Don't you have any single guy friends you could invite for dinner?"  "Why?" "Because sometimes Grandmas need boy-girl excitement."  Apparently she was experiencing a romance deficit.   Maybe I'll share some of Grandmother's stories of romance in another posting.

On Valentine's Day I had a conversation with a single man about the dating scene.  He shared with me a story of rejection.  He had approached a lady
and asked her to go out for a drink and she gave him an answer which was not, "No."  "I don't think so."  "No thanks."  "I'm not interested."
Her reply was one you might expect from a politician.  It was a well disguised and therefore almost indistinguishable  "No."   It was no more comfortable for the guy than a direct "No." 
And then women wonder why men are hesitant to ask.  "Why can't he just be a man and make a move?"  Probably because he's been emotionally injured or embarrassed by another woman.  To all the single women reading this:  Please, consider a man's heart.  Be gentle and direct,  and if you feel you need to reject his advances, please leave him emotionally intact so that he has the courage to try again.

Here's an example of how NOT to do it:

There once was a girl in grade six who was well liked by one of her male classmates.  She liked him too but it seemed he liked her much more than anyone else on their baseball team. One day, after one of their baseball games, they finished cleaning up the equipment as it was their turn to do so. The two had just begun the walk back to school when he asked her where she lived.  Her house could be seen in the distance so she pointed it out to him.  Well,  a couple of weeks later, a friend of his showed up at her door.  He had come to ask her to date his friend.  Her  brothers answered the door and were curiously hanging about wanting to know what was going on.  The girl was taken aback and embarrassed to be asked such a question out of the blue IN FRONT OF HER BROTHERS!    She asked where her baseball friend was.  Apparently he was hiding behind a bush across the street.  My answer was, "Tell him to go away."    THE END.
I was direct, but not so gentle.

Valentine's Day,

Prior to Valentine's Day, I'd had the urge to decorate a cake.  Why?  Because I derive pleasure from being productive and creative in my own small way.  A decorated cake is a transformed cake.  So, the day before Valentine's Day......being the romantic that I am (I come by it honestly)  I decorated a gluten-free chocolate brownie cake.  I don't have much experience with decorating cakes but it's fun to experiment.

I didn't consult a recipe before making the icing (lack of perfectionism) which resulted in icing that was a little too soft and therefore not entirely cooperative but successful nonetheless.  So tantalizingly successful, in fact, that the eaters of the cake happily consumed it while shamelessly adding to it sickeningly large dollops of leftover icing..and then when there was no more cake to add the icing to, they ate it by the fork or finger full. Along with the satisfaction of productivity, comes the enjoyment of observing others' appreciation of one's handiwork.  Here is a photo of the aforementioned cake:

I celebrated Valentine's Day, a day given many other names (some far less classy than the original), with family and friend by eating cake and playing games.
The morning of February 14th, I received a Valentine in my Facebook inbox.  It was a batman Valentine that said, "LOOKING OUT for you on Valentine's Day."  It made me smile.  A fun way to start that day!  It reminded me of my elementary school days of receiving Valentines, those little rectangular cards (sometimes sealed in translucent envelopes) on which boys would write my name, usually spelling it incorrectly, and often forgetting to sign their names.  Granted, the absence of a signature may have been an intentional omission, in some cases, when the giver wished to remain an anonymous secret admirer....until he found out where he stood with me.  He first would have needed to send me a hand scribbled note written on a torn piece of notebook paper that read, "Do you like me? YES NO (circle one)" which may have been written before VDay but had been intercepted by a teacher or was sitting crumpled in the depths of his jeans pocket, periodically manipulated with dirty, sweaty fingers, awaiting that safe moment to release it to the intended recipient's friend. Rarely would such a note ever be given DIRECTLY to the addressee.

My earliest memory of a 'significant' Valentine gift was in grade 4 when a boy who I had a crush on gave me more than just a two-dimensional card.  He gave me a little assortment of things - one of which was a little pin with a fuzzy baby chick on top.  I never did find out if there was any significance to the selection of these gifts but I valued them just the same.

It's amazing what kind of emotions Valentine's Day evokes in people.  They either love the day or hate it.  I've concluded that Valentine's Day is similar to Christmas in that it is an occasion that predictably arrives each year which is either eagerly anticipated or despised depending on one's social situation.  Both occasions are romantic to some degree.

Valentines Day, I've concluded, is hardest for those who have lost love or are experiencing unrequited love.

Whether you're in a romantic relationship or not, the next time VDay rolls around, use the day to let someone know that they matter to you...it will make a difference in that person's day!

Do you have a Valentine's Day story to share?  Please post it in a comment! : )

The Transparency

So, finally I begin to write.   A few months ago, a friend of mine encouraged me to write. In fact, she told me that I should write a book.    I find writing to be like romance or saying sorry.  For it to be done well, and come from the heart, it mustn't be on command.  In finding a way to put my thoughts into text, I've been reminded of a recent realization discovered by a combination of reading and introspection, that in strange way, I am a perfectionist.  Those who know me are likely not aware. You don't see my perfectionism in my hand made gifts, cooking, baking, hand writing or most other things I do.

More recently a second friend who is a well seasoned blogger, mentioned in her blog that she wished others would blog so that she could read about their lives so I started to consider it....then came more encouragement...something one can never do with too much of.  Especially when living a nightmare or embarking on a new challenge or adventure.

I asked myself, "Why do people blog?  What will I get out of it?  What will others get out of it?"  I came up with a few ideas and wondered what the purpose of THIS blog would be...I mean, does this world really need yet another blog?  Will it be.....to journal?.... to fill friends and family in on details of my life that are below the surface?... to educate?   Maybe all of the above.    The form and purpose of this blog may undergo a metamorphosis so stay tuned...and flexible.  I do hope, however, that this blog serves to challenge and to promote growth and relationship.  Let me know how you're impacted by what you read here...if at all.  I'll be happy to hear from you!

WELCOME : )  I'm glad you've come to visit!